Relationship / Weight Loss / My Dad

Few things to touch base on today. I guess I’ll start with my relationship. Its going well for the most part though at times I wish we talked more about in depth things. We talk everyday but nothing of major substance. And when we do talk about something its pretty quickly and then back to silence. I know my boyfriend is shy but I’m not used to being so quiet with someone. Though I am comfortable with him I just wish we would talk more and him ask me more things or telling me about his childhood.

He had said that he wanted kids but to be honest I don’t see that happening anytime soon plus kids are major responsibility and they cost a crap load of money. I’m on disability and he does not even have a secure full-time job. You can’t raise kids with not a lot of money and he’s never owned a dog or moved out of his parents house yet. To be honest I don’t really want kids I’ll be 35 in November and I’ll be damned to bring kids into this crazy world we have right now sorry but that’s why I have a furbaby lol.

And I have never really seen myself as a parent to a child. Maybe I would think different if things were different. Like I had a career and successful and and and. But the reality is I may never get off disability I may never be financially secure and kids are a life time commitment period. Dogs live pretty long for the most part, the small ones do anyways. And they are a lot of responsibility.  So saying you want kids is fine and dandy but the reality is totally different.

Also aren’t you supposed to be highly sexual in the beginning of a relationship they don’t call it the honeymoon period for nothing lol. Well in a way I’m happy that we aren’t doing it all the time. Otherwise it would be a pain in the butt and I know sex is not a major part of a relationship but its been like 3 weeks LOL. Without intercourse then again it does not help that we both live at home. Though I plan to move out this year at some point need my own space.

So of course things run through my brain and other than the stuff above everything is going well. So I’m thrilled about that but things could definitely improve for sure. I’m to be meeting his brother and his father sometime next week. I’m a little nervous about that but from what he told me it will be a quick meet and greet so that’s fine.


Now onto my weight loss I am now down to 203 pounds. My IBS has been acting up the last few weeks which has curbed my appetite and so I have not been eating as much as I have been. I did take a few days off from working out that might have helped as well not to sure about that. When my IBS acts up I don’t feel like doing anything. I did buy a book on IBook from Itunes called The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Eating Well with IBS Its cheaper on Itunes then on Amazon but so far I like what it talks about and it gives your recipes and a shopping list. And valuable information so I like that about this book. Also what do get when you’re out and not home to cook for yourself. Tons of great information. So as I was saying I’m down to 203 I only have 3 more pounds to go and I’ll be at my goal weight.


So my father will start the process of taking hormone injections for his prostate cancer and has to have some more tests done to find out what the next course of action is. I’m really hoping things can get under way and the cancer can fuck off but my gut feeling is not so positive and so it’s giving me some stress. Because when my father told me he had prostate cancer a huge gut feeling was not positive. I’m really hoping I’m wrong of course but it was almost like a deja vu feeling almost like a psychic feeling that’s why I’m a little stressed out. Can I say the words stressed out any more lol.


Also wanted to add in I’ve been getting some acne lately and so when I went to see my doctor yesterday I told him about how my skin has become oily and have had a little back acne. So he raised my estrogen a tad so hopefully that will clear things up. And will go back and see him in 3 months of course if any negative side effects happen to call them right away which of course I would do.

So that’s what has been going on I really have not felt like blogging the last little bit but I’m still around and still kicking lol.

Over and Out


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