Lately it’s getting to me. And I’m not sure why well one of the reasons is that the texture is bothering me I think more so near the ends but ya. Iv have trich since I can remember which has been a very long time. At the moment I have a full head of hair Iv dyed it 3 times so far. To hide the grey bits. Yesterday I pulled 6 hairs and today one. Tho as I write this out I decided to throw on one of my wigs. And will probably have to wear it in the evenings in my room so my hands don’t mess with my bio hair.
It’s probably the longest its been in years at the moment. It’s a huge accomplishment that A. I have not done more damage and B. growing it as long as it is. I dyed it the first time when it was much shorter to hide the grey but it was a lighter color. Since then I have dyed it twice a darker color to hide the grey bits next will be to high light it. To hopefully camouflage the grey. I know coloring it is not helping with the texture but really its the wavy curly bits that I have a problem with.
This is my hair so far.
Also it does not help that I get a feeling of relief when hair is pulled. Or played with at the front of my head because that’s typically where I always pull from. I really do want to grow my hair long and have a full head of luscious long pretty hair again. And I don’t care to wear wigs especially in the hot summer months that’s the worst. I’m just not that happy with out my own hair. I feel like a fake with out it. Which is odd because I love wigs if it were not for the whole being hot thing and sometimes uncomfortable. Oh and the small caps because I have such a large head.
Anyways I’m going to do everything in my power to find different ways to hide my hair and have my hands not go to my head. Its funny but when I wear wigs I don’t touch my head at all. So maybe I will have to do that for a while wear wigs again and till I’m past this wanting to pull stage. Whatever it takes I will do.
Because pulling is not an option and shaving my head is out of the question.
Thank god I have options.
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Is the texture of my hair. Especially the waves bits. It’s not smooth feeling and it drives me nuts. Also Iv noticed the parts that are supposed to be dyed brown the grey sorta comes through and that also drives me nuts. For most people they would not care but for me I do. When my hair was much shorter I never noticed the texture but now that I have some length I notice it when I feel it. Any who that’s all this post is about. I mean soon enough I wont notice the grey bits because I’m going to go blonde. So I wont be able to see the brown or grey for that matter. C ya later grey bits lmao. Then for sure the texture will be probably worse than it is but whatever.
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So iv hid my credit card so I can stop using it while I pay it off again. At $200 per month I should have it paid off in the next 6 months or so. Iv done it once before I can do it again.
I also need to budget my money better then I have been. Now that I have a relationship I really need to buckle down in spending and going places. Iv also decided to stop colouring my hair. Because I plan on going blonde when it gets a bit longer. So really doing my roots every four weeks or so is pointless.
Iv decided to put my self on a $20 dollar allowance whatever I don’t use that week I can transfer to the next. And when going out I will only have cash with me the bank card will have to sit at home. I tend to just use the bank card and carry no cash but that has to change.
As for upgrades like doing my headboard and making it glam will have to wait till the fall. My father is going to help me transform it. But I’ll wait till the fall to do that since it will cost some cash for sure to DIY it.
Thankfully clothing and shoes and undergarments. I don’t need. So ya need to really start to budget better. Buckle down man lmao.
The joys of money lol.
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So yesterday I finally met my boyfriends family except sister I’ll be meeting her on Canada Day July 1st. Its funny but afterwards my boyfriend said wow they were chatty lol. His parents are very nice as is his brother. The conversation flowed smoothly and I asked questions to better get to know everyone. Though the first 5 minutes I was pretty quite but that quickly went away haha. His parents are easy to talk to and his mother liked the bottle of wine I brought. We had a very nice dinner of curry chicken and very tasty veggies on a wrap style.
They have a very nice home as well and from what my boyfriend told me his mother likes me still waiting on word of what his father and brother thought of me, though I believe they liked me as well. His father likes to cook and he’s a good cook the food tasted very good. It went better than I expected though I did not know what to expect because Iv never really been in that situation before. Over all it went well. And I’m excited to meet his sister on Canada Day. His family is having a BBQ of course weather permitted lol.
I wore a very tasteful outfit white jean shorts with purple runners and a cami and over shirt. Though I showed no cleavage it was buttoned up.
July first not sure what I will wear but I won’t be buttoned up it will be stylish and tasteful tho. I don’t really own anything slutty anymore thankfully. His dad is really interesting he’s been every where but Asia. Being with the military hes travailed all over the place. I really like his family. I feel very positive of how things are going and extremely happy.
Also as for movie we went and saw The Fault In Our Stars. With out giving anything away its a love story and reminds me of the Note Book. the ending surprised me I did not think it was going to end the way it did. I would give it a 5 star rating. It’s a long movie but really did not seem that long it went by so fast. I love movies that make you think about the impotent things in life. Definitely a movie worth checking out and going to see on the big screen. It will be a movie to add to my collection for sure when it comes out on dvd.
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So tomorrow I’m meeting my boyfriends family well most of it anyways. We are going there for dinner before him and I go to the movies. I sorta met his dad yesterday but it was out of the blue and I froze up and forgot to introduce my self to his father. My mother and I were on our way home from running some errands and he lives not far from my house so I thought we could pick him up since he was coming over anyways. I rang the door bell and his father opens the door, I asked if he was home and he’s like yup one moment called for him and we just stood there in silence. I was going to say you can let him know Lana is here or I’m Lana but nothing came out lol.
So I say sort of meet his family because his sister does not live at home and who knows if his brother will be there. I’m bringing over some wine and will be wearing tasteful clothing casual but ya the girls wont be in plain site lol. Before we drove away his parents were going out so his mother waved and I waved back. I’ve never met anyone’s parents before. I think I was a little intimidated by his dad I was not expecting him to answer the door lol. Thankfully I do know what some of the shows his mother watch’s so that’s something to chat about and his dad was in the military so I’ll think of something to say about that to make conversation. But I wont stress about it just let things flow. Hopefully they will like me and I wont shy up to much. Believe it or not but when meeting new people I hardly speak. It’s once I get comfortable that I am able to chat.
So it shall be interesting and its to rain so even better LOL.
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There are so many different kinds on the market today. Such products for mascara what will apparently lengthen your lashes make them thick and beautiful. Lip products that will give you 24-hour wear. And everything from eye brow shadow to fill them in to gels just for the brows to hair powders yes hair powders to hind those pesky roots if you don’t have time to do a full root touch up with hair color.
Also creams that will cover correct your face so its perfect with anti oxidants to help your skin all the same time by giving you sun screen protection. And all of this in the name of beauty and staying the best you can possibly be because the world is so fucking fake. And if that was not enough they have blush, highlighters and bronzing powders so you look like you have a tan and you look like someone photo-shopped the hell out of you because the world is all about looking perfect and you can’t have any flaws.
Sure some would argue and say we just want to enhance our natural beauty but guess what if the stores and TV and YouTube makeup gurus were not out there promoting all these products everyone could be natural and not so made up all the time.
Sure who does not look better with makeup but the amount of products that are out there and that are coming out each and everyday how does one save money when it’s all about buying everything new. It just floors me how many different products are out there that kind of all do the same thing. But each has a different marketing ploy to get consumers to buy the products. If you think of a product it’s probably already is either in the works of being made or its on a store shelf somewhere.
Nobody wants to get old but you just can’t stay young forever and you can only camouflage your face to a point with makeup and till everyone starts to look like other people LOL. The joys of beauty products and beauty ploys they put up on us so we buy their products. And as I write this fun little post I too am thinking of the next beauty product I plan on buying.
The never-ending battle with beauty products.
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Cute top right lol was my favorite at that time. The hair was my favorite s well since it was all mine. This photo was back in 2005 in my old apartment when I lived with a roommate first time living on my own. The top I no longer have let alone the blonde hair or the length of it. But I am slowly getting there another year or so and my hair should be about that length or longer.
Though I was much thinner in that photo as well maybe 160 pounds. I’m about 185 give or take a few pounds as I write this post. I was going through 2007 posts on my Facebook page and found this photo. The hair color was from a box dye I bought at the drug store it was amazing because it would dye my brown roots without any major help. The only thing is I had yellow blonde hair not so much ash LOL. But I loved it at the time.
Iv also loved thin eye brows and still do to this day. Even though thick brows are in at the moment. I have tried to grow mine out it’s not that easy any more. So I just stick to my thin brows and fill them in now and then. I used to have bushy brows and hated them.
I’m looking forward to my hair getting to that length because then I can get some hair extensions and the kind you clip in so I can go long or short on a whim. I’m excited to get to that stage as well so happy I have hair again. Nothing beats having your own hair that is for darn sure. I have yet gone to a hair stylist to trim the back of my hair I just do it my self with hair clippers ever so carefully just trim a little bit off the back. So the layers can grow out since the back always seems to grow longer then the rest. It’s funny how that is.
Because if you don’t keep trimming the back while everything else grows it can look like a mullet and that’s not the look I’m going for. When I first grew my hair out some years ago I could not get past the cutting part when my mother was trying to explain it to me. I thought but why cut the back when I can put in into a ponytail. And she’s like you have to cut the back if you want everything to be one length LOL. I finally got what she was saying after it was cut lmao. Also I’m waiting till everything gets much longer to have things trimmed up everywhere else. Nothing is worse then growing out your hair go to a hair stylist you tell them what you want and then they mess up your hair. I figure by the fall it should be long enough to have it cut into a style. And till then I’m just going to keep doing what I’m doing.
Also what stops me from having any form of a trichotillomaina episode is when my hands start to play with my hair I remind my self shaving is not an option or wearing a wig full-time. And that now that I have two different kinds of textures in my hair its normal and to leave it alone. Because I have wavy/curly and straight. Its so odd to no longer have just pin straight hair. I’m hoping once it gets longer it will be pretty other wise Ill have to use a flat iron on it all the time lol. My bangs have a bit of curl its so funny. The other night I used the flat iron on them to make them straight never had to do that before.
Any who gotta love the growing out hair process thankfully my hair is long enough now where it looks cute and its not so much an ugly stage.
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Yup you got that right that is what this post is about. I had some in my teens and 20’s but nothing like what I’m getting now.
I bought clean and clear facial cleanser and moisturizer. Which I think is working to a point. But now I’m dealing with body acne as well. I went to my family doctor and told him what is going on and so he prescribed medication which is an antibiotic.
I’m told it is to work for all acne and also was prescribed some facial medication on top of what I’m using. Nothing is worse than acne or adult acne.
When wearing makeup powder foundation is no longer covering it so by wearing liquid foundation with full coverage when wearing make up out in public it gives me an even complexion which is the type of skin that I really want perfect non blemished skin.
The doctor put three refills on the antibiotics for me and to take two pills once daily on an empty stomach. Of course with all medication theirs side effects but I’m hoping I get non of them.
I sure hope the medication as well as the new facial medication works on top of the clean and clear for this acne otherwise I’m going to be pissed.
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So my boyfriend and I finally have a song. I think it kind of sums up of how we feel with each other. I know its a song I would want to dance to at my wedding that’s for sure.
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