Down My Transition Memory Lane


It’s pretty amazing where I started from. The photo on the far left was taken at Toronto Pride the year was 2000, I never thought then that I could end up looking like the photo on the far right in the orange top. The photo taken on Pride in 2000 it was crazy hot that summer. The girl who’s hugging me her name was Penny. Back then I was a not so awesome drag performer but I thought I was pretty fabulous. I never wanted to look like a dude in a wig and my thought was I wanted to look as female as possible. My outfit was all white the top and a pair of PVC white go-go shorts came from La Chateau. I added white feathers to the cuffs and even made the Gold Lemay purse that had a white feather strap. And to pair it I also wore four inch white stripper boots.

Because it was so hot that summer I wanted my boobs to be as light as possible so I made my boobs out of panty hose and cotton balls lol. The knot made the nipple lol. On days when it was not hot I would fill the panty hose with rice haha. You become inventive when you’re doing your thing. And if your curious my performance alter ego was Alicia Love who was a stripper / club girl lol.

My friends back then when I told them I was going to transition they thought I should have changed my name to Alicia but I had no intentions of going with that name. In fact the two names I really liked was Tyanna and Tatianna. Later on though my father is the one that helped me pick out my name. He had asked me if I knew who Lana Turner was. I had never heard of her so he told me to google her which I did to then find out she was this gorgeous blonde bombshell who was an American film and television actress in the 1940s.

I was sold and that is how I got my first name. Pretty cool if you ask me. I also always really loved the name Vivien and chose that as my middle name. And then I ended up keeping my original last name because the other two names flowed with it nicely. I did legally change my birth documents. It’s pretty awesome being able to choose a new name to go with the new person you become even though you’re in a way still the same just different in other ways. .

The photo in the middle was taken after I started hormones for a few months. Probably in 2001 or 2002. I was not goth but everyone thought so because of my clothing and wig choices. In that photo I had only three female pieces of clothing that was not performance pieces.

It was that black top a crush velvet ankle length skirt and a pair of black boots. The top and skirt came from Le Chateau when you could still buy things for like $20 bucks lol. And the black boots that had flower embroidery came from Payless. The wig I’m rocking in that photo is jet black with red highlights I had bought it at this wig shop down in Young Street in Toronto. It’s not a name brand wig that you could buy now but it had like a skin top so it looked like it was growing out of your scalp. I would maybe compare it to Forever Young Wigs but way more expensive I think it ran like $250 bucks. It wasn’t cheap that I know for sure.

Also funny story I went for a job interview wearing that same outfit and wig at The CN Tower in Toronto the job I believe was possibly a greeter or something maybe in the restaurant or elevator I do t totally remember but I had some real guts showing up dressed like miss goth girl. Like what the hell was I thinking. I had some odd clothing choices and some odd fashion tastes that you would not catch me dead in now. FYI I did not end up getting that job.

Also in the beginning stages of my transition I had many people tell me in the gay scene in Toronto that I would never look good as a female. That I should stay a guy. Your to tall, you won’t look good. You will never be passable aka pass as female. I have one thing to say to all the haters, Look At Me Now Bitches! Lol. I wish I could bump in to some of them just to show them and tell them they were wrong.

But whatever I’m super thrilled that I was able to get to my end goal and be the person I always wanted to be. Now I just need to land an amazing job and hell maybe even land a great boyfriend. Either one will do lol I’m not picky.

If I can go from where I came from and end up looking like I do now than anyone else can do the same.

Over & Out


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