Grab your favourite drink and get ready to spend at least five minutes reading this post. For starters when I was away in California I decided to do something a little different with my makeup more so my eyebrows. Once my foundation is on I take my eyebrow brush and sweep it over my brows. No product no eyebrow powder, no filler, nothing. The result see below.
My new makeup look is to look like I’m not wearing much. What I am wearing though is foundation, blush, eyeshadow, mascara and lipgloss except for the tube top photo lol forgot it there lol.
There was a photo that I had taken where I was heavy-handed with the brow powder and you could tell. Not my best photo let alone brow job. But I’m rather digging the natural brow look.
Moving on: I’ve removed a bunch of my YouTube videos off my channel. There’s no more vlogs or chit-chat videos or whatever. Beauty wise and wig reviews and whatever I’ve left because there the ones with the most views. I honestly don’t care to speak a ton on YouTube and put all my shit out there except for my blog here. Plus I’m better at getting my thoughts out on here, always have always will most likely.
Also I might have a new therapist, it’s a female this time. I need to fill out a questionnaire form and send it back to her before she sees me in a session. I don’t ever remember having to fill one out the last time I saw a shrink maybe it’s new. Anyways hopefully she’s nice and it works out. I’d like to just see her once a month. We shall see how that goes.
Also I’ve come to realize I’m worth more than a good fuck! I was watching an episode of I Am Jazz on TLC and Jazz who is a transgendered Teen her boyfriend from 5th grade contacts her they go on a date and he ppours his heart out I guess and tells her he would love to be her first love and boyfriend and I guess experience. The date ended with a hug in her part and she’s like your nice but let’s just be friends and see how it goes.
One thing I’m noticing once again is that most men I’d say 90% of the time sees me as a sex object, a fantasy, will sleep with me but not date me or sees me like some thing. No feelings, only wants to hang out in private. I thought this shit would eventually stop. But sadly it hasn’t. It’s like I said on one site that I’m on. If I want someone to have sex with its easy because men want to sleep with me left right and centre. But because I want quality not quantity it’s very difficult and the type of person I’m attracted to just want to sleep with me and not date me, in my city it’s like not easy. But the guys I like tend to live every where but where I am.
Besides that I’ve come to the realization that I have a thing for short guys now. Short as in shorter than me. While I was in California I noticed a crap ton of good-looking men. I swear some were 5’8 hell maybe even shorter. Guys who were ripped to fit, had dark hair or blonde hair tattooed or no ink. Had a few waiters I was like *Hot Damn* Honestly when it comes to men the type of guys I like are fit guys, they can have any type of hair style or be shaved bald, have ink or not, facial hair or not, any type of eye Color. If a guy is fit and I like there look then I’m sold!. It’s the personality that has to win me over in the end. I really don’t have a huge list. Be fit and have an awesome personality that’s it really. I don’t think I’m asking for much. Also if they don’t smoke that would be great great breath is kinda a must. Now if we’re talking about icing on the cake well then it would be someone who man grooms like clean nails, can cook, is comfortable in their skin to be with someone like my self, wears Cologne likes to smell good . Knows how to treat a lady and can give compliments. But I think those things are more common sense. You would think. Oh and maybe makes me a priority some-where in his life.
But be fit and have an awesome personality I personally don’t think that’s asking for much. But thats just me. Anyways now I’m just rambling about it. I know this life of mine wasn’t going to be easy. But I sure hope it becomes easier for people to one day just accept trans women and men for who they are and dating won’t be such a huge problem. That we will no longer be fetishized. That meeting people who see us for who we are not what we are won’t be such a taboo thing. That when celebrities end up with trans people and it’s on the news it won’t be a stupid scandal. That we are just like everyone else. Sadly though I don’t think that will happen in my lifetime but it would be nice!.
Side note: When I went to the bathroom in a restaurant down at Pier 39 in California I noticed there was a guy washing his hands. I went and asked a waitress where the bathroom was, she pointed to me the one the guy was in. I asked her you only have one? She looked at me like I was the one that was strange. I went in and noticed all the stalls had one sign a boy and girl and wheelchair. Each stall was its own contained bathroom. I thought wow smart! All bathrooms should be like that. I think there would be less BS everywhere and people couldn’t complain about what bathroom trans folk use. If you have both genders on the stall door both sexes can use it. Anyways I think it’s an ingenious idea and more places should be like that just a thought.
Anyways besides all that fun stuff I’m doing alright. I’ve been taking some new medication the first few weeks I felt sick to my stomach but that feeling has since gone away. So far my only down side of it is feeling a little lazy when I wake up. Other wise I’m pretty good. Trying to stay positive!
I guess this could also constitute a life update since its been a while since I’ve written one. I’m excited about going to Toronto next Thursday and seeing my friends. I’ve deleted all the guys out of my phone that just wants one thing from me. No point in keeping idiots in my phone. I’m 100% done with guys who just want to use me and that’s it. I want to date someone and if I have needs I sure as hell don’t need a guy to fulfill them for me!.
Anywho hope all is having a good summer. If you don’t hear from me for a bit not to worry I’m still around.