A Clear Path & Mind

So before I get into why I’ve titled his post A Clear Path & Mind I want to share how my Halloween was and what all happened. So a month before Halloween I was dead set on being Marilyn Monroe. I have the white dress I knew what shoes I was going to wear and it was going to be perfect and till I decided to re dye my hair blonde. That was a huge shit show mess and you can watch the whole process here .

Anywho let’s just say the blonde didn’t workout and I became a brunette again. That being said I was going to rock my blonde wig Soft & Subtleby Gabor . Everything was going to be great but then I took into account getting to the Halloween party I was invited too and transportation. He costume was just not going to workout.

Plan B. I’ll go as a sexy vampire. I headed to my local Value Village second hand clothing store which always has a big selection of Halloween costumes new and gently used. And picked up a black bell sleeved velvet vampire top for $19.99 Some grease white makeup and some fake blood as well a black red bead choker which I got for like $1.99 . I thought okay I have a black faux leather Calvin Kline skirt. I have black thigh high hose with the line going up the back. Black faux suede ankle boots and I have a purple and black lace corset. And for hair I’d rock my Bennett wig . To get my makeup look perfect I went to YouTube and watched a bunch of different makeup looks to get ideas and then did three different makeup trials. However I did not end up using the grease makeup that I had bought but I did pickup a stick foundation in light from NYC it was under $5.00 but did the job perfectly. I also tried to use two different faux fangs but in the end they never worked for my oddly shaped teeth.

Everyone loved my contour which was pretty cool. To really chisel out my cheek bones and collar bone and just curve out my breasts I contour and high lighted every part that was visible. All I used was white shimmer eye shadow and to darken areas I used three different coloured purple shadows. I had bite marks on my left side of my neck. That’s one of my main reasons for wearing that particular wig since it’s short on the left side. No hair would rub it off. I did have to cut the top a little to show more cleavage and I’m also wearing a padded push up bra.

I was a little nervous to go to this party though I knew a few people who were going there was way more people who went. But I knew I’d have fun and if anything I’d meet new people and you just never know what can come about. I had an amazing time at the party and I ended up winning best sexist costume which was pretty awesome at the party but what was even more amazing was there was a medium at the party doing 10 minute readings and the main title of this post is what I’ll be talking about now. My friend who was throwing the party told me there was a medium and I had asked if I could get a reading. Very nice little lady, I sat down and she had shuffled a deck of cards laid them down and asked me to pick up a card. I picked up the Queen of Cups. Which I thought was interesting because of my card reading last year which you can find here.

I had also asked about when I might be working or doing what for work. She went on to say acting or being in films and movies which I thought was interesting but the biggest surprise was that my Aunt/God mother took over the whole reading. She passed away in May. Basically my Aunt said she finally understands me. Everyone over there is rooting for me and you rock 🤘🏻. That when I spoke to her over the phone we said everything that needed to be said and that it was better that I wasn’t there when my parents went to see her. Because if I had been there near the end it would have affected me in a big way and that it wouldn’t have been good. Also that I’ve been through a lot but everything is going to be okay. Keep strong and also that she is my Guardian Angel. And if I ever need to talk I don’t no have to look up just over my shoulder. Also that she’s very proud of me and there is no gender over on her side and everything will work out.

I swear it was more like a 20 minute reading. And afterwards I felt like a calm release. Though I have to admit my eyes were watering up as Lillian the medium was speaking to me. After the reading I called my dad and told him what had just happened. I literally was going around to different people at the party and said go get a reading lol. I did take two business cards with me.

After my friends party I met up with some other friends at a bar that was not far from the party I had gone too. They all loved my costume as well and I went home at around 2am. I had an amazing time that Saturday. The day of Halloween I went to see my therapist which was fine but going back home and staying at home on the one year  anniversary that that scary incident happened I did have some reservations about but at 12am I went to bed and everything was fine.

Since Halloween weekend came and went I feel different like since my god mother coming through I just feel calmer and that yeah everything will workout like it’s supposed too. So much so that after my therapy appointment on Monday I’ve stopped taking my antidepressants. I just feel completely different. Of course my therapist and I talked and I’m trying the no pill method while I see her. But yeah I feel amazing and I’m really not freaked out about dating either like if it doesn’t happen right now it’s totally fine. I kinda feel like a million bucks to be honest!!!.

Hope everyone had a good 👻Halloween🎃

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