A DOCUMENTARY

For anyone who is not a friend of mine there is a documentary that is currently being made and I’m apart of it. Wait I’m not just apart of it I’m in it not just in it but the documentary is about me. Before I get into more of the details let me just start off by saying I could have never have done it a year ago or even two years ago.

Its taken me a very long time to actually accept my self for who I am and to love my self  whole heartedly. And so with that I’m finally okay with who I am. I also believe everything happens for a reason. That being said the timing is just right.

Im on an email form and back in September someone had posted an email by a University student looking for someone who was trans to do a doc. I sent her an email.

My email said this

I’m a trans female age 36. I’ve finished my transition but not without daily struggles living with anxiety. I’d be very interested in educating if I can. Lana

I also included a photo with that email

img_4719

She emailed me back and we set up a place and time to meet and chat. I was one of many that they were interviewing. The interview went well I thought and I had said in my chat with her and one of her teammates that there have been many docs about older trans people who are married with kids or docs about kids but never have I really seen any of mid 30s trans women who are not married who don’t have kids who have  successfully transitioned. They agreed and that chat went on for about an hour I’d say. Then I was done and left the location.

Well they got back to me and said that the others they did interview many of them were not comfortable to be filmed fully on camera if they were chosen, either their voice could be but not face or what have you. I told them I’d be comfortable with being on film and so forth.

At first once I found out they chose me my nerves and thoughts ran wild. Here I am a pretty passable trans girl where for the most part people don’t know I’m trans will all know my face once this documentary goes public and be aired on T.V. most likely. My so called private life will be out there for the world to see and how will my life change afterward. This is what went through my head.

I was told filming would start of the 16th of October and the main story line of this doc would be like a day in the life of a non famous trans person. Well the day of actually filming was the day of my 37th birthday which was this past Saturday Nov 12th. At first I was told they were filming me get ready for my birthday party. But then Thursday I was asked if it would be alright if maybe they could film me out with my friends at the bar I was having my birthday at. At first I wasn’t feeling it to be honest it’s one thing to film me get ready it’s another to film me out with friends having drinks. But I signed up for this doc so I said sure.

To be honest I’m glad I said yes because it will be forever on film. That being said the film crew left at around 11:30pm. I had an amazing time a lot of friends came out and I’d say a good handful were okay with being on film as well the crew did mini interviews with my friends. Also a few new friends I had just met two weeks prior were also on board with being filmed which I really thought was amazing.

img_4718I decided to not do my hair and instead I rocked a wig. Which I did speak a little bit about on why I rock wigs. I didn’t mention my trich that I have over come but I did say that they are fun and they are not just for people who have hair loss or medical but they are quick and easy and are a great fashion accessory. Three people of four of the film crew are in the photo left. That is on location at the bar.

I wasn’t going for Morticia Addams Realness but that’s what a few of my friends said I looked like. I wore all black with a sexy low necklace. I went all out with my eye makeup even rocking a lash. Nude nail polish and my dress was long sleeved wrap dress with black tights and black ankle booties. I thought I looked classy. I was also told I could give Elvira a run for her money 💰 lol.

img_4241They got a shot of me opening a gift from my best friend who got me a beautiful bracelet. It’s delicate and elegant and lovely. I’m just glad they got the shot because once you tear wrapping paper there is just no going back lol.

After the film crew left I really let loose and then left and got home pretty late with not much sleep since I woke at 7:30am. Then it was off to the folks for the day but not without more filming Sunday evening at my parents place. They filmed the family dinner as well desert and card opening. My brother wasn’t apart of it because he didn’t want to be on film though he said it was my thing I wish he was there because they wanted the family interaction and he’s my big brother but it is what it is.

Filming resumes on Wednesday all day then again on Thursday some in studio and Friday afternoon. In total this is what’s called a Short Documentary lasting 10mins or so. And with that kind they can take from 10 to 30 hours of film edit it down to 10mins. There will be a screening in Jan where I can invite family and friends ill also get a copy and then from there it will go on to whatever.

As I told some friends on Saturday even though this documentary is about me in the end it really has nothing to do with me in the sense that, if I can not only open the eyes of the public but also help someone who is just figuring out who they are and that they are not alone then my job is done. Trans people are everywhere and we won’t be going away. Trans people have existed for a very long time.

So this is what’s been happening with me recently.

Talk soon

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