Hey Girl Do You Wear You’re Wigs Anymore?

I recently asked one of my friends that exact question. I was like “Out of all the wigs you own do you wear any of them or just rock your own hair?”.

Her response was this “Hardly Ever”

Because we both have been growing our hair out. And yes I have sported a wig here and there but I don’t wear them all the time. I usually just forgo them and just rock my bio hair. Do I still love wigs yes I think I will always have a love for them. But the need or want to wear them all the time has faded.

Also with the higher prices that some of these wig companies are now charging for synthetic wigs it’s nuts more so the caucasian wig brands such as Jon Renau or Raquel Welch. No synthetic wig should cost $450+ if it doesn’t have 24K high lights or something lmao.

The higher quality wigs I own I will most likely keep and till they disintegrate ☺️, I guess I’m also not rocking wigs much any more in everyday life is because I have my own hair that is long enough that I can do many different styles with. Though wigs have come in handy for my burlesque acts which has been great.

I’ll always be a wig lover but as far as buying new wigs I don’t think I’ll be doing that for a long time. And if I ever do I’ll hunt the clearance sections first on the wig sites. I did just find out that the one beauty shop in the mall I go to sells clip-on ponys for a super great affordable price so that’s exciting.

Also some of the wigs I recently got I have sold some gave away some and I plan to donate the rest to the cancer salon here in town.

Over & Out

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I’ve Owned It!

I apologized more then once

I said I was sorry

 

You apologized for saying what you said

I accepted it

Your still calling me critical

And judgy at times

And yet I thought we dealt with it

You can dish it out but can’t deal when it’s returned

I owned it!

I’m not apologizing again

This friendship isn’t working

I’m not perfect I owned my shit but I’m done.

 

I Owned It!

By

Lana Poulson

FIRST Aid?

Remember when I spoke about Mr Badoo? Well we had spoken a few times since the last time I wrote about him off an on nothing huge. Usually he would send me a message on Facebook or text to tell me how he missed me. But then we stopped talking last year and I removed his number out of my phone. Unlike most people but I’m not a number collector lmao.

Yesterday I got a text.

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Then I’m on Facebook and noticed he sent me a message over there which was in the other folder. So I told him “look I said lose my number, leave me alone”. I then went on to say “I find it funny you send me a message out of the blue basically asking for money. Get a life”. However he did listen because I think he blocked my messages because the second message didn’t send.

I’m so over that whole dating world. One of my girl friends asked me “but don’t you want a boyfriend” it’s like yeah but I don’t have to find him online. I wish people would just lose my number get rid of it. When it’s gone south or it didn’t work with us why hold onto the number? And guys who have girlfriends who still bother you even afterwards it’s like fuck off. I don’t need you thanks. Liars, cheaters, douchbags, morons,dickheads, uneducated pricks

FUCKOFF!!!!!!

Believe it or not but we are not waiting by our phones waiting for that text or email or phone call to come through. We pick our selves up dust our shoulders off and we move the fuck on with our lives smarter, stronger and wiser.

I would rather be single and alone with family and friends then keep putting up with the same shit!. I know there are decent people out there and yea sure maybe there is a few decent people online but I know for sure there isn’t many. I’m totally excited for the future for next week and for the weeks to come. With not being online looking for love ❤️ I’m actually focusing on my self and am living life to the fullest like taking my self on movie dates and not having share the pop 🌽  corn with anyone lol.

Or spending time with friends whether it be in person or over the phone. Working on my burlesque, spending time with family, my dog, working out, cooking, cleaning my apartment going to my social meet-ups and other things that people do when they are single staying active and busy.

When you spend less time with the world of online dating or no time as I have been doing you actually enjoy life. Online dating to me is a hassle having to explain to people the same record player shit. Because hardly anyone reads the profile. They see your photo and instantly sends a message. Or you end up asking why they can’t post a photo of their face or why don’t they have a photo without sunglasses 😎.

It’s always the same crap 💩 but a different pile but usually with the same results. But if you remove your self from that world 🌎 you relies there is much to enjoy out there. Like seeing an art  exhibit at a museum like I did last year. Or taking a nice long walk and enjoying a neighbourhood with cute shops.

Would it be nice to enjoy it with someone of course but I refuse to deal with all the shit online dating has. And sure dating isn’t perfect but the online world I know now isn’t for me. I even went as far as deleting emails with saved passwords to get rid of them for good. Yes I did delete the accounts and if I couldn’t delete the account  I deactivated them.  But if it works for you congratulations!!!.

Over & Out

Urban Planet – Sirens Dress Haul

I was in major need of some cuter dresses for summer for going out and such to dress up or down that had more style. And Urban Planet is having some sick sales.

I will be doing a haul video for my YouTube channel as well.

I bought 8 and they all have spandex stretch in them and can be machine washed in cold water. Also with free shipping over $100 bucks it’s pretty sweet but if you don’t spend that much shipping is only $5.00.

This dress the colour and style I love ❤️ the most.

I AM ME!

Am I ready for an extreme Surgery such as bottom surgery this I don’t fully know. The fact that I’m already having some doubts and I haven’t even begun anything major is a huge question.

Is this surgery something I need to have to really be happy that’s a huge question, can I follow through in doing all the steps is another question.

Knowing the recovery is very lengthy and long and knowing how much I hate having surgery I’m not entirely sure if I can go through with it.

I’ve always had body issues and I’m slowly accepting my body for what it is. I wish I had more trans friends who were just fine with their body. But almost everyone I know is getting bottom surgery and I kind of feel like I’m the unusual one if I don’t get it, not to say that there is pressure to get it but it’s like I’m made to feel less than. Which I know isn’t the case in reality at least I don’t think?.

If for whatever reason would I be okay if I didn’t get the surgery Yes. Because it’s not a life or death type of situation. That’s where I’m on the fence about it. It’s never been a omg I had to have it or else!.

When it comes to dating I’d very much like to meet someone who didn’t think of me as a fetish sadly I don’t know entirely if I’ll meet someone who won’t put me into some kind of category, obviously 🙄 you can’t get a surgery thinking all your problems are just going to fade away when it comes to dating or anything.

Also do I really want to have to get to know new anatomy honestly not really. I also kind of feel a part of my sparkle will be lost. Like my uniqueness will be removed. I like being different and unique but sometimes I don’t it’s unusual I think sorta who knows really. Self love is what I have been working on these past few years. I rather like not fitting into the cookie cutter gender norms of what Society is. I’ve always been a wild flower 🌺 in the sense of being me. Being me is not following other people.

I am worthy of love just the way I am and I’m worthy of loving my self for who I am. I don’t need some surgery to prove to anyone that I’m fucking female. Fuck society into fitting into the cookie cutter gender boxes. Fuck you and your gender norms. I’m imperfectly perfect the way I Am. I refuse to be something I’m not and I refuse to be normal whatever the fuck that is.

Ive always struggled being me and trying to find my spot in the world however I refuse to sit in a puzzle and be like everyone else.

I AM ME

Deal With It!

I Hate Being Alone

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Being alone sucks

always by your self

it’s lonely

😭

Though I have friends

&

Family

It’s still lonely

 

Nobody to hold

to snuggle up to

To walk and talk

holding hands

Togetherness

 

Its fucking lonely

 

Though I have a four-legged friend

shes currently my everything

my family I’m thankful to have in my life as well my friends

 

But it’s just not the same as having someone

close to you that you can touch and hold on too

count on to be there when your blue

hold you’re hand when your down

It’s just not the same

 

They fill you with ❤️ love

a forever feeling

loving you for you

kissing their 👄 lips

a connection like no other

 

I Hate Being Alone

by

Lana Poulson

Dear Readers

Of Facebook, Google, WordPress and how ever else you find my blog. I’m writing to you for the simple fact of a huge thankyou for taking time out of your life to read my stories and memories and whatever else I have on my brain. I’m going to be taking a short break from blogging. Mainly because I’m sorta tapped out. I don’t have any huge things to write about. And so I need to just enjoy life and when I decide to come back well you will see a post. At the moment things are great. Diva seems to be doing a lot better and she has no new crazy spots which I’m thankful for. Her energy level is what it is and I’m sure it’s because of her age, it’s hard to realize because I was so used to her being a high energy dog. She definitely has her moments of it but being at my parents house the last two weeks even with her being around the other dogs she’s not full force of energy. She will play for five minutes or so then stop playing. Also the weather has been all over the place. Anywho she’s doing as good as one can be. And crazy she will be ten years old come August 24th. Where has the time gone?.

I’ve lost a few pounds so I’m thrilled about that. Hair is growing out nicely and life is pretty good right now. With that here is a fun chit-chat video I posted to my YT channel last week. I hope everyone is doing well and talk soon but not to soon.

Creating A Burlesque Act

So in May there is this event called Ottawa Burlesque Expo and I’ve entered my self into it. I had to pay a small fee and send in my application form as well an extremely rough copy video of my act. Hopefully if I get accepted then I’m doing one number but there is a lot of pieces to put this one act together. Because the theme of it is surrounded by a piece of food. Though no real food will be apart of it.

I’m using higher grade rhinestones for this costume then basic dollar store ones. Gem-tak glue to adhere them instead of a glue gun lol. I really want this act to stand out. I bought this dress that’s 1950s style which is black with white polka dots. I spent three days gluing rhinestones to every dot but ran out of stones so I’m currently waiting on the new batch to come in.

The petticoat I ordered from Amazon came in as well as the cute ovens mitts,

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As you can guess from the oven mitt the theme is cupcakes. The oven mitts came two for a super cheap price. The stones are called Crystal AB which stands for like a rainbow color on the stones so different angles shows different colors. For this act I require a small table and went looking online and found this cute one for $24.99 at Bed Bath & Beyond but when I got to the store they had one left and with tax it only cost get this $7.99, I asked the cashier if there was a mistake and she said no.

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The only small issue is it’s not foldable but it’s small enough that I could bring it with me in an uber if need be come May. Other wise I might just save it and get a foldable TV tray stand not entirely sure yet.

Also I was on the hunt for an undergarment bottoms that had a cupcake motif well low and behold I found something on Etsy so I’m excited for when they come in. Also I was on the hunt for faux cupcakes. Found some on Etsy but people wanted like $30 for 1 cupcake. Then I went looking at a site that they sell fake food but they wanted credit cards only I was highly disappointed when they got back to me and said sorry we don’t accept visa debt. I told them they may want to get with the times since most online stores these days accept PayPal.

I then went to google and YouTube and found some great info for diy cupcakes using home hardware products and styrofoam balls and acrylic paint and caulking and stuff. So I’ll be making my own as far as that goes.

I’ve also compiled a song well two and put them together using a program to make one song. It’s soooo good omg.

Im hoping to compile and finish everything before March 28th so I can debut this act at a story telling Burlesque event. If I can’t then I hope to do it in April. I’m also on the hunt for a half apron and possibly a cardigan I can sparkle up.

Its probably the most complex act but it’s only going to last 3:19 minutes. It’s just a lot of costume pieces sorta. Things I don’t own but have to put together. Also the dress had this zipper that I took out and replaced with a new zipper and two side panels.

I’m not totally sure I’ll add rhinestones to the front straps but I might half way up. The zipper didn’t go all the way down. So I bought a new one and made sure it was long enough so the damn dress would go over my butt. It fits perfectly now so I’m happy with it as well impressed with my self for making it work. And it will do for what I need it for. I was going to go to a seamstress but I didn’t want to spend more money on something I could easily fix my self. The zipper isn’t perfect but that’s okay. People are probably not going to be focused on it.

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I’m excited about the dress to be finished and to debut the act. The only downside to the 100% cotton dress dog fur gets stuck to the dress easily. So I’ll have to make sure to have it fur free come performance time. So this is what I have been up to recently. But I know when all is completed it’s going to be amazing.