Am I ready for an extreme Surgery such as bottom surgery this I don’t fully know. The fact that I’m already having some doubts and I haven’t even begun anything major is a huge question.

Is this surgery something I need to have to really be happy that’s a huge question, can I follow through in doing all the steps is another question.

Knowing the recovery is very lengthy and long and knowing how much I hate having surgery I’m not entirely sure if I can go through with it.

I’ve always had body issues and I’m slowly accepting my body for what it is. I wish I had more trans friends who were just fine with their body. But almost everyone I know is getting bottom surgery and I kind of feel like I’m the unusual one if I don’t get it, not to say that there is pressure to get it but it’s like I’m made to feel less than. Which I know isn’t the case in reality at least I don’t think?.

If for whatever reason would I be okay if I didn’t get the surgery Yes. Because it’s not a life or death type of situation. That’s where I’m on the fence about it. It’s never been a omg I had to have it or else!.

When it comes to dating I’d very much like to meet someone who didn’t think of me as a fetish sadly I don’t know entirely if I’ll meet someone who won’t put me into some kind of category, obviously 🙄 you can’t get a surgery thinking all your problems are just going to fade away when it comes to dating or anything.

Also do I really want to have to get to know new anatomy honestly not really. I also kind of feel a part of my sparkle will be lost. Like my uniqueness will be removed. I like being different and unique but sometimes I don’t it’s unusual I think sorta who knows really. Self love is what I have been working on these past few years. I rather like not fitting into the cookie cutter gender norms of what Society is. I’ve always been a wild flower 🌺 in the sense of being me. Being me is not following other people.

I am worthy of love just the way I am and I’m worthy of loving my self for who I am. I don’t need some surgery to prove to anyone that I’m fucking female. Fuck society into fitting into the cookie cutter gender boxes. Fuck you and your gender norms. I’m imperfectly perfect the way I Am. I refuse to be something I’m not and I refuse to be normal whatever the fuck that is.

Ive always struggled being me and trying to find my spot in the world however I refuse to sit in a puzzle and be like everyone else.


Deal With It!


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