Toxic Friendships Aren’t Healthy

Over the years I’ve had issues with one particular person who happens to be a Gemini. We have had great moments and not so great moments. Well we finally reconnected and till it went sour once again. What amazes me is she never owns her faults. It’s always someone else’s problem and or issue but it’s never her problem.

This last disagreement was my final straw and I sent her a text saying I wanted a break not to end the friendship but a break. Because it was just getting out of hand and I was quite frankly sick of her being so negative.

She responded a few moments ago with this.

( I totally understand , but I think its best if we just go our own way, too be honest I think our friendship has run it course , your starting too be the way u used too be and like I said if it started again iam out☺ I hope u find the inner peace in side ur self ware u can keep too what u say, and acutely grow take care and all the best)

When she speaks of (If it started again she’s out) I flipped out on her years ago because she got on my last nerve. And I yelled at her over the phone. This was five years or more.

However in my last text to her all I said was “I don’t care if you think or don’t think if I can get a job in an office or with the government”. It’s like why can’t we support each other.

My response to her text was this:

(Funny thing if anything I’ve changed and your still the same person as you were before.

You need to own your life and you don’t. You need to enjoy it to the max, do what you say and say what you do by going back to school or get the job you want. You have been speaking about all of that for well over 5 years.

I do agree though that our friendship has run its course.

I wish you the most success in your life. I wish you well and take care of your self. Sending love and light your way.)

The old me would have said “Go fuck yourself” but the new me can’t be bothered plus I really do hope she turns her life around.

This is a person I used to look up to. She at one point worked two jobs she was highly motivated and got shit done when she said it. Now all she does is sit at home smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and smoking pot like it’s running out of style. She’s not motivated to do anything. She speaks of winning the lotto and pipe dreaming of what she dreams of.

Shes constantly will talk about the fighting she does with both her parents who have both had heart attacks. She’s extremely negative the majority of the time I’m ever on the phone with her, and 98% of the time I bite my tongue because it’s just not worth fighting with her.

And she will decline when one of our mutual friends invites her out saying she just wants to save her money and work on her self. Not all the time but she will decline most the time. I’m always working on my self as I’m sure most people do but they also live their life.

What ive realized is this. People walk into your life they stick around either for a short time or a long time and then they leave. Usually it’s for a learning lesson. Though it would have been nice for the friendship to stay. I’m okay with that one ending. She lives in the past very much so. Speaking of how popular she was and speaking how things were the reality is. I’ve already lived my past, my future is what I’m excited for.

When we had reconnected and I told her I live on my own now she was surprised saying how she didn’t think I’d last 6 months. It’s like why do I need to prove to anyone that I can do things. I remember being told by a bunch of negative people back in my 20’s when I spoke about living my authentic self and them all saying “Your never gonna be a female or look like one or whatever just stay living as you are now” I really wish I had my finger tattoos then to tell them to go fuck off. Now it’s like I’m living my life for me but whatever life happens and it’s like look at me now.

But back to the story at hand. Sure not everyone is going to have a good day which I accept but for the extreme cases of toxic people show them the curb and get rid of them you don’t need those toxic people in your life.

Over & Out

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2 thoughts on “Toxic Friendships Aren’t Healthy

  1. Sometimes people are in our lives to serve a certain purpose, and when their purpose is done, the friendship falls away. It sounds like you’ve outgrown her; also sounds like she’s depressed. That’s tough because for a while you want to help a depressed person, but at some point they have to help themselves. I recently had a very similar situation, but in my case there was the added burden of her constantly asking me for money. I helped financially many times but finally had to say no more because it had been years and years and she hadn’t bettered her situation at all. At some point you have to ask yourself if you are getting anything out of the friendship or just doing all the giving, ya know?

    1. Yes I know. Should I have not called her a pot head yes, but at that point I had had enough. Did I want to end the friendship no, I did tell her that we don’t have to talk everyday she I think took offence to that. Also when I spoke about me going to work and her making a snarky remark it’s like just be happy for me you know. Why have to be a bitch about it. Oh well. Maybe she will wake up maybe she won’t.

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