Every time a man uses me for sex a small part of my soul dies.

When I’m used for sex and not treated with respect my self-esteem becomes worthless

I feel worthless

Men who want one thing from me makes me feel worthless

How does one feel like they matter when they are always used to being treated as less than. When you desire love but don’t receive it. When the men you attract don’t see you as human.

An object for their sexual pleasure. Once they get what they want they throw you aside like yesterday’s trash.

They make you feel like you’re the problem, you’re the crazy one, You’re  the one with issues.

People who say you should love yourself in order to receive love from others. But what if what you receive isn’t love at all, it’s bullshit, it’s false, it’s the worthless shit they put upon you.

I have used online dating thinking I may meet a legit nice guy but 99% of the time it’s men who want to use this body for their own sexual desires and then toss it aside after they have gotten what they wanted.

How does one not feel worthless after?



Lana Poulson


5 thoughts on “Worthless

  1. I am sorry for the grief and hurt feelings you have experienced do to the sexual drives and one track minds of my gender (particularly our younger members). Good news is that some boys grow into thoughtful human beings eventually, acquire some empathy, and stop using girls. However, even those of us who grow above our sexual instincts and immaturity, it usually takes a lot longer than it does for a girl – expect to find some conscientiousness and empathy in guys no younger than 25,

  2. Try to stay optimistic, Lana. You have so much value! When I felt really bad about myself for the same thing…I decided not to be sexually active for several months. This way I didn’t have to stress about contracting an STI or something and I could just focus on myself. I know you’re actively searching online right now so maybe that won’t be helpful for you but you will figure out what does work for you. You are strong and independent! Sending love ❤

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