Honestly I’m fed up! One of the main reasons I stopped using dating apps was the bullshit. Since not using them in months I’ve been stress free of it all.
Last year a friend of mine a guy I have a long history with wanted to start spending time with me. His ex and him had recently split. It was fine at first but then he couldn’t make any real commitments. So I said let’s just not do anything and remain friends since that is more important to me.
Check the video for all what’s been going down. Then leave your comments down blow and let me know what you 🤔 think?
February 9th Fifty Shades Freed came out in theatres. I was more than excited to see the movie. I had made plans with this guy. We were making plans to see it the following Monday. But on the Friday I decided to buy a ticket and go see the first showing of it. I’ve seen the last two by myself and wanted to see this one as well by myself.
And thank god I did because I had a feeling the guy wouldn’t show up. PS the movie was awesome and it matched the third book. To the T.
The Monday came and I had a feeling the guy would be a noshow. Tuesday came and I sent him a text. He responded by saying that he totally forgot. We made plans to get together the following Monday. Which was this past Monday. He asked me last week “When would you I’d like to go to the movies afternoon or evening?” I told him afternoon he had also said he would check show times.
Monday comes. I hear not one peep. I sent him a text at around 4:27 pm asking if he forgot again. He doesn’t text me back till 5:33pm
Fifty Shades Freed @7:15pm
Typically in the past I would have responded bitching the person out. But guess what that won’t be productive. If he really wanted to see me and do an afternoon movie he would have texted me in the morning making plans for an afternoon show. So instead of doing my usual rant and bitch I decided to do nothing. I didn’t bother responding and I still haven’t responded. Why because he’s not worth anymore of my time. By not texting back I’ve taken a small part of my power back. If he really wanted to see me he would have made the effort. And quite frankly I’m tired of that bullshit.
You forgot our date the week before, you ask me when I’d like to go see the movie you then don’t text me till the evening for an evening showing. And you don’t put any effort into contacting me till later in the day. Go fuck yourself. You’re not worth my time. And obviously you don’t care enough about me to make proper plans. So no you don’t get anymore of my time. You will never have anymore of my time and I’ll never put the effort into you again. Sorry not 😐 sorry.
If a man can’t make you a priority for a simple movie date screw them. If a man can’t show up for you, can’t keep plans and can’t text you back. They are not worthy of your time. I’m sick of these supposedly good guys. If you wanted to talk to me you would, you would make the time to text back, call, keep the plans you make and not forget. If I’m that unforgettable then so are you!.
See you like never!
OkCupid didn’t stay on my phone long. I left it and joined another app. I did meet someone new for coffee and tho he wasn’t my type, he was super nice and conversation went well. That being said sadly because I turned someone down for not being interested they took it to next level “psycho”. Though I’ve exchanged numbers with a few people this one person is next level. Super transphobic or as he put it he’s freakphobic. The blocking feature on the app isn’t working well because the app lets people re join under new accounts so it’s hard to handle. There are always some bad apples on these apps and I don’t believe one is necessarily going to be better over the other but I’ll most likely leave this app as well.
Well I’ve been out of the online dating pool for quite sometime. But I’m back for a few reasons. First is being single as fuck sucks. Secondly people don’t talk to me typically out in public the most I ever get are eye flirts. That’s when guys look at me and will usually include a smile or smirk. But they never ever come talk. It’s annoying as fuck. I also believe I intimidate men from my height.
Since doing burlesque it has made me feel more confident in my skin and my body but I haven’t met anyone thus far doing that. And the few guys I had spoke to didn’t talk after I asked if they were enjoying the show. There was one guy who I was totally into but he lives kinda far like not even in the country but he’s English and if I ever see him again I’ll definitely strike up another conversation because the one we had was very chill and I felt a good vibe from him.
Also 98% Of people meet from online these days it’s very rare that you meet legit people to date from real life. When I’m out most people are on their cell phones. And as a trans woman it’s kinda hard to just strike up a chat with someone. Anywho my new view on dating online is that don’t join multiple apps. Join one and stick to that. I recently re joined OKC OkCupid and am swapping messages with quite a number of men.
I have an open mind and though I’m not specifically looking for anything to serious I am open to the possibilities in meeting some quality people. My category is Straight and the subcategory is Trans-Woman. The rest of my profile is pretty fun light-hearted and tells the person more about me. Also my username is totally different then what I’ve used in the past I think it’s cute plus it’s a little self promoting BurlesqueChika.
One thing I’m not taking to serious or letting bother me are men who are disrespectful from the start. Like one person who came out and was like “So your a man!” Honestly I’m not even wasting my time having to explain myself to people or having to be Google for them. Block and move on. OkCupid has tons of different types of people and is rated pretty high at almost 5 stars 🌟.
One thing I’ve learned from the past is to just have fun. Don’t take it to serious. And don’t live on the app. Also I don’t think 🤔 one should join Many because it makes you look desperate. Which I’m so not just adding my self to the online pool as well going out in the real world. And if I happen to network and meet some fun cool down town to earth people than that’s even better and I’m always open to making new friends. If I meet someone who turns out to be special then wicked.
PS complements from men who say I don’t look a day over 24 are boosters for sure lol.
Over & Out
Not sure if this post will go into the dating category because I’m not doing any of that right now but it seems to be the time of year or month where the number collectors come out. Yesterday some dude by the name of Jay thought it would be okay to text me saying “Hi Lana” then goes on to see if I remember them of course I don’t. And till he sends me a photo and I sorta remember him. Apparently we spoke from POF Plenty Of Fish dating site but I haven’t been on there since 2015, then I asked if he had used anything else and he said Tinder.
He said he had lost his phone and just got it back recently and thought he would send me a text.
Then he got all stupid than I had to tell him to go educate him self. He had asked if he could take me for a drink sometime I said sure but didn’t mean it lol. Then he sends a text 3 minutes to midnight. I didn’t hear it thankfully other wise I’d tell him where to go.
This morning I get a text from some other dude named Tristan apparently we met last summer went for drinks and he’s from Toronto. He thought to text me out of the blue because he’s coming back to Ottawa and wanted to know if we could meet. I turned him down right away and said sorry not interested and please lose my number.
The guy from last night texts me and is all like good morning, asked what I was doing today I said I was busy, he’s like I was wondering if you want to go for drinks tonight. I declined and then I gave him some valuable advice like if your really into someone to not wait such a long ass time to get a hold of the person.
This is another reason I dislike and despise online apps/sites, people go ghost they also will disappear after a while and then think it’s totally okay to send out texts messages after so long. Stop collecting numbers if you fade away don’t reappear thinking you will get into the persons good books. More often than not we don’t want to hear from you.
The old me would have most likely met these people because of being lonely but the new me would rather leave those people in the past where they belong. I’m totally over those people. I’m over online dating/hookup apps/sites. But I’m 💯 % over people who randomly text thinking I’m going to remember them or will want to give them another go/chance.
Have you ever had a feeling so strong that you know you will meet the one for you. But it won’t happen using the online method that includes dating phone apps 📱. Yesterday in my reading I got confirmation that my feeling was right. The man I meet I’ll do it the old fashion way in person.
Honestly my thought on all dating apps is this it’s all bullshit. People waste so much time on them that they miss out connecting with everyday people who pass them by on the street or in coffee shops or where ever you might be.
People are so afraid of being let down or being to shy to say hello that they miss out on possible connections. Dating apps aren’t really for dating if anything they are time wasters. I’ve heard over the years from guys when they say “I’m just to busy”, Nobody said dating was easy, no body said relationships are a walk in the park. In fact things take work. Everyone is capable of making time. It’s just a matter of how bad do you want things such as a relationship.
So my new path at the moment is to build the relationship between my self and my friendships and focus on me and my path to a fun-filled career. I’m opening my heart and my self up to the arts and the angels to guide me to the path I’m supposed to be on.
And when I’m supposed to meet the guy for me it will just happen. I’ve always said that everything happens for a reason.
Over & Out
Its really not that bad. Less bullshit to deal with. Dating apps suck for the most part. I’ve been talking to someone quite regularly over the phone with phone conversations and texting though he lives quite far away about five hours or so but in Canada 🇨🇦 so that’s good. Where will it go I don’t know but for the time being it’s nice to connect.
I disabled my OkCupid account it’s kinda bleh, it’s not that interesting and if anything it’s boring as all hell. I was using Badoo up and till my account was blocked for apparently something I had done or posted but I’ve never posted anything that was weird but I don’t really care because Badoo is probably the worst app out there. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again there is a shit ton of BS on it. Most people are all talk on it. And I don’t care that I’m not using it.
Ive been wanting to take another break from the online dating apps so it’s perfect timing to do it now. The online world is not as fun as it used to be that’s for sure. One of my friends does the old school way she uses Quest chat. Which is a phone chat line. I’ve thought about it but meh not right now. For the time being I can’t be 😕 bothered.
I have a feeling I’ll meet someone soon and maybe even more organically.
Ill keep y’all posted.
When it comes to online dating. Recently I rejoined two apps OkCupid & Badoo. Lately I’ve been getting more bites from OkCupid and though I could have gone for coffee with one guy I did cancel it because A. I wasn’t feeling it (if a guy says he’s gonna call and you spoke to them on a Saturday and it’s coming into Thursday cancel before he does) and B. If you’re not that attracted why waste your time and there’s. I sent him a message and said sorry but I’m not feeling it. His response was oh I hope it’s nothing I said or did like not calling when I said I would. I simply told him “no it wasn’t that just that I’m not feeling it and best of luck to you”.
Than I get a text from this one guy who I had spoken to earlier in the year or even last year from Badoo. I had to throw his number into Facebook to see who he was because I don’t save guys numbers in my phone as backups when they don’t show or become a ghost. I’ve got no time for that 💩. He tells me how he owes me that ☕️. I asked him why he texted me and he says “oh I saw you on Badoo”. So we go to make plans to have coffee on Saturday the time was for 1pm. I get a text from him at 2:39pm it reads Hi Hun just with a client. (He works in a gym). My response to him was “Sorry, who’s this?”. stupid fuckingg people why can’t people have more respect.
This next one is priceless. Started talking to this guy from Badoo spoke for about a week. Made plans to get together yesterday. But the night before I thought I would FaceTime him because he had called me that way twice before. He tells me he’s tired and watching tv 📺 with no mention of friends being over. When the call gets connected there’s a woman on the other end and not him. I disconnect as anyone would. I send a text going ” So I take it the girl who answered my FaceTime call is your girlfriend” And he’s like “I have no idea what you are talking about but I’m with some friends at the moment and can’t talk”. My response back I had brought it up again and he just didn’t respond to it. Sure he could have been with friends but then why not just say it in the beginning and why let your friends accept a FaceTime call?.
But the best part of this story is the text message I got from him yesterday evening. He’s in the grey and I’m in the blue. I also want to point out I didn’t make any plans but I wasn’t going to let him know that. I honestly knew he was going to cancel because my intuition had already told me. When I finally got his text I didn’t respond right away because I was working out and didn’t want to be like sitting next to my phone you know?.
Not one word back from him. Funny how that is. Typically if I’m not 💯 % into someone I’ll straight up tell them. Not waste the persons time but again that’s just me. I’ve been back on these two apps for the last few weeks but everyone who knows me knows I’ll remove my self probably sooner than later and take a break as I usually do. You know being single kinda sucks but it doesn’t suck as much as having to deal with dating BS. This I have come to realize. The main reason I like Badoo is people talk but what I’m learning is that’s all they do is talk. It’s like people are afraid to meet face to face.
So before I coloured my hair and I would use the online dating world 🌎 I would get hounded for sex. My hair was blonde and guys mainly would message me for that. Since going brunette I haven’t been on any dating apps. And till last night. I rejoined OkCupid and so far I’ve been getting messages and so far the messages I have gotten have been pretty decent. Nothing overly sexual and if anything I might have a date sooner than later.
So I’m going to stay using it and see what happens. I’ll report back in about a weeks time and update.