When You Feel Good, You Look Good & People Notice

Yesterday I did an old workout it was my walking dvd Leslie Sansone’s Walk Away the Pounds: 7-Day Calorie Blast. I used to use this when I was fat. Anyways I had lent it to someone and just recently got it back. I’ve included it back into my workout routine so far I do it once a week and then do a 7 min workout later in the week including the two walks a day Diva gets.

Today I had an appointment downtown and thought I’d get fairly dressed up for it. But every where I went I had people taking notice to me. And it felt pretty freaking awesome. Like I got noticed way more today for some reason. I mean I felt great and I also know I looked great not to sound conceited but yeah. And I’m loving wearing my hair in the style it’s currently in even my bangs I’m loving all because I’ve changed up how they hang.

And can we just take a moment and say wow the color turned out amazing on my hair lol 😂. A fellow Instagram friend said they love me in dark hair and you know something I love it too. My makeup also turned out really well, I did something a little different to my eye makeup and I really like how it turned out.

Also my new favourite foundation applicator is my finger. It’s clean of course but I just find it super easy to apply and super easy to wash. And I the finish is the same if not better with my Marcelle Flawless Foundation.

Happy Tuesday Everyone!

 

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Health Update

So those weird spots I was getting where they were mini rashes, they looked like bug bites it turns out from what I’ve been reading it’s from gluten. To be  specific it’s called Dermatitis herpetiformis which is “celiac disease of the skin”. It is a chronic skin condition with a characteristic rash with intense itching and burning sensations.

Which would explain what I’ve been getting. Since I’ve stopped eating buns and have really cut back on pasta and what not I haven’t had any more rashes. Or spots of any kind. I’m still supposed to go see a dermatologist but I have another appointment with my family doctor next week. I do plan to bring this up to him.

Check out the info on DH Here

I originally cut out breads and buns and that sort of thing when my IBS was really acting up. But then it went away and I have been introducing them back into my diet more regularly this year. But then it’s this year that I’ve been getting these rashes and what not. I mean I have photos that you would be shocked to see how bad it has got.

Honestly it’s been pretty nasty. My doctor had given me hardcore Mometasone Cream 0.1% but honestly it didn’t help with this. Not a ton of help to be honest. He had also had me take a antihistamine which I took for about a week. But after doing some serious reading and found that information on DM a little light bulb 💡 went off and it’s like nope this makes perfect sense.

Also my IBS made its ugly face appear. Two days ago I was in excruciating pain my  stomach was full of gas I had severe cramps. My tummy swelled up so much I looked pregos. I took two bascopan pills and it went away. I had salmon and veg for dinner but the veg had Broccoli and Collie flower and green beans which usually I’ve had in the past with no problems. I honestly thought I had kicked IBS but nope. So now I have to go back and watch what veg I’m eating. So much for eating almost anything I wanted.

Id like to mention to that when I was in Montreal I tried to drink a beer a light one but nonetheless my system wasn’t having any of it because it was making me bloated. So No more beer for me for a while which sucks because there are three different kinds of 🍺 beers I enjoy and now I have to cut them out of my life.

So that is the latest. I think by cutting out breads and buns and cutting down on pastas and that sort of thing I won’t have to suffer through those rashes again. And for the IBS I just need to watch what vegetables I consume. It’s funny because IBS comes and it goes.

Oh the joys

Everyone Has A Voice

In a world where everyone possesses a voice and a thought and an opinion. It can get overwhelming at times. When seeing the news and seeing police officers killing very many innocent people in the states or going to extreme forces with people with only a knife like what was done in Toronto. Makes me all upset and makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with people.

The gay pride parade was about a protest from the get go then really why should it be such a big deal now that one group protests now?. I think and I can only speak for my self but living in the nations capital of Canada. I believe that the group at hand which is BLM should be able to walk in the pride parade and protest just like any other group however I don’t agree with keeping it up. That all being said. Masses need to change their thought process.

Guidelines In men in authority need to change. Better background checks need to be taken place when highering people as well sensitivity training. Also one thing I can’t stand which has zilch to do with BLM. Per say Is why is it if your white and you perform a crazy crime like go into a school and kill a bunch of students your considered mentally ill but if your a person of colour and you do the same thing your automatically labeled a terrorist. I just don’t think it’s fare. I too do not agree at all with the shit white people of authority do to people of color like going after people who do nothing wrong but just walk down the street minding their own business and being harassed for no reason at all.

We need to express more love and acceptance of all people. There needs to be a positive change and we need to love everyone, period. We all bleed the same color blood after all. We breathe the same air. We all have feelings and emotions. And we all have beating hearts ♥️. We are not all that different from each other. But the divide and all the negativity is what is really separating each and every one of us. The past can’t be changed but the future can be. We need to work as one in order for things to shift.

I care & hope things get better before I pass. That would be so great to see! There is but to much negativity happening right now. Even going on Facebook gets me sad at times.

Serenity & Love

Ottawa Trans March

So it takes place every year and every year I don’t go mainly because I don’t feel the need to walk down the street and be like look at me I’m trans. I feel odd doing something like that, I suppose because I’ve never not felt not included with just the regular Pride Parade. I mean my own little view on Pride, it’s self is kinda bent. I say this because my view on the whole community, it’s self isn’t amazing. And this stems from when I was first introduced to the Toronto gay community when I was about 14-15 years of age.

I was told then that it was one big happy family and everyone was so welcoming and awesome and then the cold shock of that’s not how it really was. I was treated, then like a fresh slice of meat 🍖. Even back then living as a gay male who was overtly feminine. Nobody wanted to date me hardly and all I was good for being sex. There actually wasn’t much of a community and I felt most the time like the outcast. Yes, I walked in a few Parades mainly in drag.

I was very much a throwing it in your face type of personality back then. And the more shit I got from people the louder I became. A great deal of the things I did was for shock value and to get any kind of attention.

But once I switched genders, it was to blend into the crowd as much as possible. Even though I was tall standing at 6’2. All I desired to do was blend in with the rest of Society. Which honestly, I do for the most part. I like not standing out. But I also don’t need a March to be proud of who I am.

That being said I’ve been doing a great deal of self growth as of lately. My views on the whole of the alphabetical community is slowly shifting. Last year I skipped the Ottawa Pride Parade mainly being over it. The year before I was on a trans float. This year I travelled to my first Montreal Pride as well walked in it with RBC Bank & My Best Friend. Last night I decided to at last minute walk in the Trans March with a few allies. Though I don’t suppose it needed to be in the evening it was a pretty big turn out of people I was pleasantly surprised with how many trans and such came out.

I frankly didn’t think Ottawa had many trans folks. Which proves just how little I am aware of. When you’re used to your own bubble and circle of friends to then be apart of something like that it’s kinda mind blowing. I was glad I went, but it’s not something I’ll probably do again. Frankly, it’s not really my thing, but I am happy I experienced it.

I didn’t truly like the route they chose, one street was way too far away from the village and they could have picked a closer park to meet at. That’s my personal opinion on the location. As well the speakers went on to long, but overall the walk it’s self was alright. Also one of the people chanting I couldn’t understand half of what they were going on about. But other than that it was a good March.

The conclusion is getting out of your comfort zone. It feels good to experience things even if it’s scary. Nobody said you have to do it more than one time. And yet though my thought process on pride is still bent a little. Hopefully the alphabet community will become less superficially fake before I die and more of a welcoming community for the new generations to come.

Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈

Dear People

Recently there has been a ton of negativity regarding some groups,

Then there are some bad apples

There are also
Bad Doctors
Bad Nurses
Bad babysitters
Bad Governments

&

Very Bad Presidents

But with all the bad, there is also a great deal of good.

A lot of respectable people in uniform. Who help people every day from break ins, to fires, to bad people on the streets that harm kids. Who is harmed significant others. That harm people of all sorts. Who help dying people, who help drug addicts who accidentally overdose.

Not everyone who wears a uniform are bad people. With all the negativity in news outlets to twitter to Facebook and beyond I’d merely like to say I’ve had enough. I’ve had enough of the negativity that these groups are putting out there to not work together but to split up each other. By not working together, you are merely going back not forward.

I get it some members of the Society have been done wrong, but don’t you dare for a minute blame each and everyone for a mistake that a small number people have behaved. It is not everyone’s fault for that person’s error. You learn from it. Grow from it and forgive. It may take time and heck you may never fully overcome it, but why can’t we work together to fix things right then to divide and take steps back.

As a member of the minority group being a member of the fucking alphabet. I sent a message to the Ottawa Police Service to thank them for all the good they have executed. Could sensitivity training be more implemented, yes of course. Should they do better screening when it comes to hiring people who wear a badge of authority you bet your ass. But we need to work together as a society in order to move forward.

If we can’t work together, then how do we go forward???.

Clarity

I finally have a real sense of clarity with how my body is. When I would talk to some people and or watch a show on gender surgeries it would bring up feelings of being  inadequate and that I had to conform to how society is.

Last weekend when I was at my parents home I was watching an episode of I Am Jazz on TLC. She is going to be getting confirmation surgery. After watching the show I felt happy for her that she needs to get said surgery to feel comfortable in her skin.

But I didn’t feel like I usually do when I watch such shows. I felt fine. I felt content 😌  within. For once I feel perfectly perfect with my body. The clarity is that you don’t need to conform to fit in with everyone. I feel beautiful. I feel great & life is fucking awesome.

Fall in love with your self first and love will come your way.

Tinker Bell

You always think your closest friends will be around for a long time and then you find out that one of them is sick with a terminal illness. The reality that they wont be around for a long time then sinks in and you realize life is short.

I had the pleasure of spending some much needed time with a friend this past weekend. I have known him for around 13 years but it seems way longer than that. He is someone who fully supported me from the get go. When I met him he was loud and I thought obnoxious lol but he has the best personality and he’s a super fun loving guy.

He is a one in a million and when I found out he had stage 3 lupus I was torn to say the least. He was putting on a fundraising event as well it was a celebration of life party. He asked me if I would come and be a part of it and right away I said yes.

I spent time with his family as well friends. I performed burlesque beside the drag performers that are also his friends. We raised a bunch of money for Lupus Canada as well for him. We laughed, we cried, we took selfies like they were going out of style hehe.

It was probably one of the best weekends I’ve had as well hardest weekends. You just don’t think you will out live any of your friends.

One of his favourite Disney characters is Tinker Bell hes loved her since I met him. Well as a memorial I decided to use the money I was paid towards a tattoo of her with his initials in his favourite colour purple also he is a drag performer and so I put his drag name initials as well.

I love all the colours and how its water coloured she turned out really beautiful.

I love my friends and they mean the world to be so when his time comes and I lose him ill always have a reminder. The good thing is he’s not gone yet! and so my plan is to spend more time with him.

True friends last a life time.

Pride Parades & The Police


Since pride month started the beginning of June we all have seen articles and or petitions not having police be apart of said Parades. People are hellbent over what they have done to lgbtq 🏳️‍🌈 people and of lgbtq people of colour. And yet there have never been as far as I’m aware of anything bad happening to lgbtq people at Pride. From my own experience I’ve never had issues with police my self being a trans woman. I’ve also never heard of any stories of police causing problems at any of the pride Parades I’ve been too.

Since Black Lives Matter showed up last year at Toronto’s Pride Parade everyone now is thinking twice about police being at pride. I think it’s BS. Everyone now has issues over everything. Police at pride, the rainbow flag, it’s a damn rainbow people!!!. The Canadian anthem, what the fuck is next the freedom of free speech.

I fully understand what police have done to people in the past but I’ve never once not felt safe at pride and for me I feel safer having the police at pride. I think the police should be at all prides. Everyone looks at the bad and the negativity from the news.  But nobody talks about all the good police have done. I had an almost brake in in 2015. I had not just one police officer show up but I had three. They were all amazing men who showed me kindness and were extremely respectful and polite and they cared about my well being. I’ve never had issues at Pride or with police in general.

Of course I’m fully aware that there are bad cops out there just as there are bad people in General. But I think it’s it’s completely unfair to remove people who are supposed to protect us from bad people. I’m sorry that so many people are upset about what experiences they may have gone through. But when is it enough???.

What is amazing to me. Is that because people are up in knots about it, now so many people are wanting the removal of police at pride. There are many lgbtq police 👮 officers and they should be proud to be who they are as well be proud to be police officers. And to be apart of Pride.

Personally this is what I feel if you don’t like something at Pride then don’t look or go. Be responsible at Pride, dress appropriately, and don’t cause others harm or get to wasted. And be respectful. From all the prides I’ve been too there has never been once any issues between lgbtq and the police. But you do hear about issues at other Parades that are not lgbtq 🏳️‍🌈 but you don’t hear about that do you nope.

I’m fully aware of what BLM stands for. And I respect what they are doing. But seriously why can’t pride just be about pride. Why can’t it just be all about love. I will never know what it’s like to be black not in my current life time. But I do know what it’s like to be trans and to be judged and ridiculed. I personally think that anyone who harms another human being when they are of Authority should be punished. And not lightly!!!.

From all the news stories I’ve heard over the last few years from the States to Canada it’s made me sick that people of authority could do such tasteless acts. Those police officers need better training and if they are racist people then they not need to be police officers. I don’t think guns are great, people who have a police badge don’t have a right to shoot at people with no weapons who are not causing harm.

There is so much wrong in all aspects.

Do I think the delivery of groups who want to protest and or make aware what they are speaking for could be better yes. But I don’t think removing police from a parade is the answer.

Not all police are bad. And we need to remember this. If anything I hate hearing about bad news stories usually they don’t post the good stories that do happen every single fucking day.

This Is is just my two cents, That’s it I’m done !!!!